Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The grandbaby blessing on the way is a boy....

Summer is cruising along.

It seems like Ive just blinked and the last 4weeks have passed.

We now know our first grand baby is a little boy. Last week I got to hear his heartbeat at a Dr's appt with my daughter. We get closer and closer day by day to meeting him face to face.
People frequently ask me. Aren't you so excited to be a grandma. I give the obviously standard anticipated response "oh yes". But I'm not a good poker player. Ive never been really good at covering my emotions. I thought at length about why I'm not just silly happy anticipating the arrival of such an amazing blessing.

I was talking to my daughter today and realized I am not ready to celebrate the baby yet because I'm still working through all the situations in my mind. Every time I attend a delivery now I keep looking at the grandmas and think what is it going to be like when its my daughter and my grand baby in this room. I came home the other night after a busy shift concluded with an emergency c/s delivery. I kept trying to think how would I handle standing by and not jumping in to help if we were faced with an emergency. Ive attended many deliveries of friends at hospitals where I did not work. Ive experienced some bad situations where the delivery became complicated. Ive assisted with supra pubic pressure during the most severe shoulder dystocia Ive ever experienced on one of my best friends. I knew the Dr and when she asked for help the nurses attending didn't move. She looked at me and I climbed up on the bed and pushed on my friend while the Dr pulled. I remember my emotions clearly like it was yesterday.
Ive stepped in to help resuscitate babies as a visitor. Sounds crazy but when my nephew was born the nurse took him to the warmer and placed him incorrectly feet down and head up. She pressed the emergency call light but obviously didn't know what to do with this baby that was not making any effort to breath. I stepped in turned him, stimulated him and started to reach for the ambu. the nurse scolded me as she called out the door for help. I responded If you do your job I wont have to. I stepped back as an obviously more experienced nurse took over the resuscitation.
I know these situations will not happen at my hospital because I know my staff and I know what an amazing team they are.
I do know the process of delivering a baby is not without risk.
I know God will keep us every step of the way.
This is a new step for me as a mom to trust God through this process.
Ive never seen a child of mine through this path. Ive been through it with many others safely.
I'm praying for peace to keep me from worry so I can truly say I'm excited to be a grandma.
Every thing of worth in my life has come with a lesson to trust God.
One more to come....


  1. Hi there,

    It's me, a voice from your past. LOL!

    I just commented on you sweet daughters blog, because as I was drifting off to sleep, her face came into my mind and I started thinking of her blessed pregnancy when suddenly I put 2 and 2 together to realize that she was your did I miss this before?!

    How exciting for you, and, faith will get you through this wonderous time. I am still taking in the awe of the Lord with his medical provision for me!

    That is an amazing story of your stepping in for the rescus as a visitor. Lol! Good for you!
    Love it. Great story!

    Take care grandma!


  2. I loved how you describe exactly how you are feeling and why you are feeling that way. God is meeting you rigth where you are with this. (I know that sounds so cliche, but hey, it's also pretty biblical.
    That was also great reading more about your job! I'd love to just follow you around. :-)

  3. Thank you for your support. Sometimes the simple steps that seem so cliche are the ones God wants us to take. Like confessing our fears and trusting in Him acknowledging we are powerless to control many of the circumstances of our lives.I am so comforted to know God is not a cliche. He is real and calms my fears not all at once but one at a time. I see this not only in my own life but in the lives of those around me who trust and share with transparency their real fears struggles and blessings along their journey.

  4. Mrs. Rebekah, are a breath of fresh air...As I started another semester of classes ..prerequisites to be exact..I'm starting to feel a bit overwhelmed..

    It is so awesome and such a blessing to read about YOUR grandson that is on the way!!

    God is so good to us and it is a beautiful thing to read of another love for God and the faith they have..

    He is soo real..our rock, our shield, everything we need he is for us.

    I always love reading about your life as a nurse..

    Thank you for stopping by my blog..and to know your prayers are being said for me is a beautiful and strengthning for me.

    Many Hugs,