Blessings in my painting class

In the last few weeks my heart has been drawn back to the people of Haiti. Last term I fulfilled a goal that had gathered dust in the back of my mind. After traveling to Haiti in 2010 I returned with many pictures of beautiful children. I wanted to paint portraits of these children. 9 wks of class produced 5 paintings and at my final critique my instructor asked me when are you going back to Haiti. I replied I don’t know if I ever will. To which she responded you should consider it I can tell by your painting your heart is drawn to these people. Last Thursday I received an Email from Hearts a fire telling of an opening on the July 2013 team due to a cancellation.  My heart is tugged but I push the thought away because a louder voice of reason is saying “you don’t have the money to go.” Two days later I'm on FB when I get a message from one of the young Haitian men who helped with translation while I was on the Medical team. At the end of our usual interchange of how are you etc. he asked me when are you coming back to Haiti? I responded I have no plans unless God plans. To which he responded “ I will pray” . As I look at the paintings I remember how God blessed me through the opportunity to serve others.

 

 

 

 

Blessing of a new baby grandaughter. Makes her entrance via waterbirth

I'm finding it hard to put into words the blessings of this last week. The day after Christmas my first granddaughter joined our family. My daughter had chosen to deliver her baby without any medication and in water. As a labor and delivery nurse of 27 yrs I had never experienced a water birth. The hospital I work in has been trying get everything in order to offer water birth as an option for our patients who are low risk. It seemed like it was taking forever for the midwives to gain training and credentials. Staff had been trained but months had passed since the training and most of us were having a hard time remembering even how to set up the water birthing tub. two days prior to my daughters labor starting the midwife had approval to attend the first water birth at our hospital. I had worked 6p to 6a the night before and way woken by my husband saying. Brooke wants you to call her when your awake. she is in labor. She felt it was time to come drop off the 2yr old at our house so the papa and aunties could care for him while the new baby was born. I headed to the hospital at around 5pm to find my daughter swim suit on ready to enter the tub. What a wonderful calming environment. The lights were dimmed and all voices were kept at a whisper while my daughter used her breathing and relaxation techniques to manage through each contraction. It seemed like the water provided such natural support for what ever position felt best and provided a medium for easy position change. She would spend 30-40min in the tub at a time and then out to the bathroom, walking and using the birthing ball. Her focused phrases of "Come on out baby girl and My body knows what to do and is perfectly made to deliver this baby" Midwife June, husband,Doula in training, sister, labor nurse, sister on Skype from North Carolina and myself seemed like such a large number but all were calm and quiet except for words of encouragement and soothing caresses. Her breathing and intensity increased about 845 when her repeated phrases changed I can do this"" I can do this." She agreed to allow June to break her bag of water now that she was 9cm. Intermittent fetal monitoring reassured us throughout the labor that sweet little baby girl was fine. Back into the tub she went to continue her rhythmic breathing and some stronger more intense sounds queuing us all that it would not be much longer. On her hands and knees in the water a second midwife checked to be sure she was fully dilated before she started to push. Within 10 min of pushing the baby's head emerged. The babies shoulders did not immediately come and the midwife instructed her to turn over. with the turn the shoulders delivered. The midwife instructed my daughter to reach down into the water and gently lift the baby on to her chest. Baby opened her eyes to gaze at her mom for the first time. Mom softly stroked her dark hair and baby took her first breaths. All in the room were in awe to witness this incredible moment. Not a dry eye as my daughter cried "I did it" I did it"" Oh how amazing " Her husband hugged her and stroked the babies head. The sister on the computer screen thousands of miles away cried with joy to be in attendance over the Internet.


I was so proud of my daughter. She had set out to deliver her baby without any medication, no IV. I respected her choice although it was not something I had wanted to watch her endure. Her strength and joy is such a blessing. She is an amazing mother. I have had people say there are no prizes for women who deliver their babies without medication. I would argue that if a women has this desire the prize is the satifaction of experiencing the delivery the way they want. As nurses , moms, sisters or friends we should respect the wishes of that individual even if it is harder for us to watch the one we love in pain. My granddaughter is the first water birth to occur at Legacy Mt Hood family birth center. Very amazing blessing how every detail came together.

Thinking about Blogging again?

As I approach the new year Im feeling a little bloggy. I keep thinking about all the things I should write about, a new grandbaby due to arrive any day, healthy self and family, lessons learned and contemplation about lessons I need to work on. I sit here on the couch husband dozing next to me as I glance at the Christmas tree lights I think maybe I should start again reminding myself frequently of the blessings found in many places of my everyday average life.

6months of blessings

Baby Colton 6 months old. He is so expressive with his lips.






































His eyes are so bright.































A blessing in every way...
Blogging has gone by the wayside in the last 6months. As I snapped these pics today I thought I miss my bloggy friends. I had to share. so here he is the sweet little snugglio.





























Even tears and sad faces are sweet
























































His chubby fingers reach for everything.





























He makes the grandpa smile

Sweet face with cheeks o plenty

The sun has come to visit Oregon this week. It surprises me every year when we get a few days of sunshine in February and I feel like my spirit is completely renewed.
I enjoyed a day full of different opportunities to spend time with my kids. I worked the last 3 nights but got off early was home by 4am. I loaded the dishwasher, started it and sent a text to my 15yr old to remind her of her dentist and Dr appt later this morning. I then responded to a text from my oldest daughter about my plans for the day. She was going to her 7wk post baby check up. It was a little disappointing to find the 2baskets of laundry I had dumped on my side of the bed were still there unfolded and my husband was very sound asleep. So there I was in the dark at 4am trying to fold clothes so I could get in bed. Sometimes I wonder when Ill get better organized.
10am came early and off to the dentist we went, a quick lunch then on to the Dr office to discuss some treatments for Acne. (Age 15 is not the easiest)
I arrived home just in time to spend 20 min visiting with my grandma who lives on my street, ate my lunch now that it was 3pm and in the car again to pick up daughter #4 from school.
After arriving home with #4, the oldest calls and asks do you want to meet to go for a walk?
I was thankful to enjoy the clear sunny late afternoon. #4 daughter came along to run with and wear out the Grand dogie Libby. ( she feels a little displaced since Colton has arrived)

Colton is a joy, his eyes are bright,cheeks are round,he is calm and snugly. Or as my #2 daughter would say "schnuggly"
I am so blessed to be Mermie to such a sweet content bundle of preciousness.






We headed home after our walk had a little bite to eat and out the door again with #4 daughter to Jr church group. Finally spent sometime with #2 daughter hearing about her new job. I am so thankful she has a job to keep her busy while her husband is deployed and she settles back into the nest for several months until he returns.
The day is done punctuated by the sounds of my husband in his office playing on line "combat games" I periodically her "help" "oh no". It makes me laugh. The blessing of a full day. I better go fold the basket of laundry I left on my side of the bed again. Need Sleep.

When it rains it pours

Blessings Blessings Blessings.




















Yes the grand baby arrived safe and sound.
I arrived for my night shift at 6pm Dec 21. It was kind of quiet in my family birth dept. The next day would be one of the nurses birthday. We all commented "wouldn't it be fun if Brooke came in tonight to have baby Colton?" The evening marched on with outpatient triage's which included a very ill patient with severe preeclampsia, and an active labor patient. Midnight struck and it looked like things were again calming down. We sang happy birthday to Gayle and within minutes the phone rang and it was my son in law announcing Brooke's water had broken and they were on their way into the hospital. We all squealed and jumped around like a bunch of silly Jr high girls. The special delivery would happen today.
Brooke and Cody arrived at the hospital and she was still 2 cm dilated. I knew it would be a long night for Brooke.















Being the charge nurse I had charts to prepare for the next days scheduled procedures and as the Resuscitation Specialist I had to stay alert to respond to the high risk labor patient who appeared to be adding DIC to her list of problems. Thankfully the baby was doing fine.
I was pulled knowing both my department needed me and my daughter needed me at her bedside. by 3am I called in my Stand by charge nurse to relieve me so I could take off the charge nurse hat and put on the grandma hat.
Brooke did so well and Cody what an amazing coach. She labored all night finally reaching 4 cm at 10am by 11am an epidural gave the opportunity for rest that she really needed in order for her to continue. within the hour she was completely dilated. Labored down for another hour and 45min of pushing rewarded by a healthy 7#5 oz bundle of joy at 332pm. He didnt cry much but pinked up and went to breast within 10min of age.









Blessing after blessing I say because through out the whole labor Coltons fetal heart rate tracing remained text book perfect not one deceleration for the Gramma/L&D nurse to worry about. Im so thankful.




PS thank you Wife/mom/nurse for checking in on me even when I didnt post. You truely are an awesome bloggy friend.

Ill be home for Christmas?

Who will get her first? The song Ill be home for Christmas has special meaning at our house this year. baby Colton maybe here for Christmas. Counting down the days till Reed and Kelsey home for Christmas from NC?

Ive been wanting to make these Angel cookies with pretzel wings for many years.
Every year it fell off the projects to do list.
They were fun easy and worth the effort.

Practicing the gramma stuff with my friends granddaughters. Little fingers in the dough, flour, frosting and smiles make Christmas time.

One mom and one baby? Yep that was all the fun we had last night at work. Now that my daughter Brooke has arrived at 37wks gest is seems like not only am I excited to have her call with news that labor has started, but all the staff in my dept are excited to see who will be on duty when my grand baby arrives. Seeing my coworker snuggle a baby in the nursery I now am closer to grasping the reality my grand baby will be here soon.

I had the time to catch up with some of the staff I hadn't worked with in a while. I am reminded again why I love the staff I work with. They are very skilled dedicated to caring and willing to give of themselves to each other on a personal level.

Last week some of my coworkers announced that I would not be allowed to leave for the day until they came up with the name my Grand baby would call me. Of the top choices it was narrowed to "MiMi" or "Mermy". For some reason my own kids choose to call me "The Merm" So that's where Mermy comes from I guess a cross between Merm and Grammy. One of my grandmas we called Mammie. All the staff agreed Gramma or Grammy didn't fit me. Something about sounding to old and they seem to think I'm not an old grandma. I hope its not just that I don't act my age.

Baby shower for my soon to be Grandson

Celebration of the new baby to come. Im not much of a blogger lately. Shower attended by friends and family. I hand carried parts of the decoration for the cake from NC. I'm not a real game person so we played a fun game of chance I called "bottoms up" A pie tin and 5 small plastic babies. Roll your babies and count how many land with their bottoms up. each person got three rolls. This was not a game of skill but sure provided some laughter. Cake cutting, gift opening and I read a story to Colton " God gave us you"

Several in the group went together on a stroller car seat combo. Very nice. I hung a clothes line across my living room to display the baby clothes gift items and displayed the blanket I made for Brooke when she was born.

North Carolina in the fall

The decorated cake entry to the state fair. won honorable mention








































The gingerbread cookies we made.





















The happy daughter and son in law on his return from two weeks training.





















The Mantle decorated for Thanksgiving
Ten days away from my home. Ten days visiting #2 daughter and her husband in NC. the first 5days spent just my daughter and I hanging out and playing. Army hubby off for training, my daughter and I shopping, sewing, baking, crafting. We were in the fabric store so long we both got exausted. Then off to walmart. I had so much fun buying the makings of thanksgiving decorations for her home. That evening we baked a birthday cake for hubby,listened to christmas music and crafted a table cloth we had seen in a magazine when we were snooping in books at Borders. Im so thankful for time. Time spent with the ones I love. Tomorrow I head back to the west coast .

Blessings in the sock drawer

Ive been on a blogging break. Ive been checking in on other blogs but havent taken time to add to mine. I find it takes me a long time to come up with a tiny post so I stop before Im started
I'm not a very organized house keeper. I bop from one room to the other picking up this and that, folding clothes here and wiping up there, taking time to clean out a drawer just in time for garbage day so I wont have the chance to change my mind and pull out the"treasured item" from the garbage and return it to my clutter.
Last week on a sunny fall day I had to stay inside cleaning. I found myself rounding up a load of laundry in my closet. I don't remember how I got there,maybe a sock was sticking out and I took the time to open the drawers to organize.
There in the sock drawer I found the blessing. Ive seen it before but I couldn't resist taking the time to enjoy it again. Deep beneath the socks are special notes and letters. Some from my grown daughters to their dad and I,some from my husband notes of apology and mending of a misunderstanding years ago. One is simply a small scrap of wood with a note written on it saying I haven't told you I love you enough lately. (My husband is a carpenter)
I had to stop and ponder how funny it is I keep some of my dearest mementos in my sock drawer. I sat on my closet floor reading and soaking in the words of the letters. Sometimes I can find a blessing in the strangest place. The sock drawer.

Full Fall day

What a full day I had today. I started by sleeping through my alarm to take my kids off to their first day of school. Thankfully I have two girls who have learned to set their alarms, fix their lunches, fix breakfast and make sure their mom is awake and ready to take them to school on time. Wow what an amazing thing really for and 11 and 15 yr old.
My hubby left this morning for some R&R Bow hunting in eastern Oregon so I'm on my own for a few days. I always think I should take on some project while he is gone. In past years when he has gone hunting Ive redecorated his office, painted one of the girls rooms dark purple, redecorated another child's room and thrown out stuff needing to go. I guess I'm more of a hunting season cleaner than a spring cleaner. I'm not planning any big projects this hunting season. Maybe just dust the house.
I intended to take myself off to the gym to get myself back into an exercise routine but alas I stopped off at the computer this morning and got lost in Face Book and emails.
Talked to the daughter living off in NC on the phone while she shopped at walmart. Weird how the world really can be so small with all the technology. I told her I would call her back after I went to Target with Daughter #1 so she could make a baby registry. We had fun with the registry gun clicking off all the little items she will need to care for her new arrival. It was strange even though Ive had 4 babies I was unfamiliar with some of the latest baby must have stuff. A whole aisle of baby bottles. Oh my it was overwhelming. I wasn't as much help as I think she thought I would be.
Lunch and then stop by work to drop off some supplies for a children's health fair scheduled at my hospital. The FBC is in charge of making hundreds of "Boo Boo Bunnies" In case you don't know these are wash cloths folded to look like a bunny and when a child gets and boo boo and ice cube fits inside for the child to hold on the boo boo. I was delayed by my manager wanting to talk to me about schedule changes and a charge nurse meeting tomorrow. I ended up being 15min late to pick up #4 daughter from her first day of JR high. Boy did I get a scolding on the text message. Where are you!!!!!
I called daughter #2 back and chatted while I drove to pick up #3,#4. I agreed to skype with her when I got home so she could show me her costume she got at walmart. How fun is that to be able to actually see her all the way in N.C.
While we were talking I heard a beep on the line. I took the call from the hospital. Yes too many labor patients and not enough staff for the night shift. No I cannot work all night. My husband is out of town but I could cover 730-mid
night.
Daughter #3now in the car and asking if she can go visit her new love the sweet horse named Misty. I agree to take her but must be back to work by 730
Now I know why I'm so tired after today. After taking the girls to ride the horses I made sure they were OK with food etc and off I went to the hospital.
I worked till 11pm helping out by attending babies at their deliveries and odds and ends.Still busy when I left only one patient room empty in the dept.
What a full day. I better go to bed and set two alarms so over sleep again. It starts all over tomorrow. welcome to fall.

15 and "in love"

"Jumping with Misty"

"Satisfaction of caring for another"




"In Love"





This past week in my work as a Labor and delivery nurse we seemed to be running a special of the week. One after the other we admitted 14 and 15yr old to have babies. As the charge nurse in my dept I do most of the triage of patients. I had cared for One of these young moms several times through out the summer as she came in during the night with assorted complaints. My heart is very tender toward these very young girls and I somehow have been given extra compassion for the moms of the girls. Maybe it has something to do with the fact I have 4 daughters and know I do not have control over all their actions and choices. I am thankful I have not had to experience this road with any of my daughters but I am keenly aware of guiding and guarding thier hearts as they journey through the rocky path of 12-20.
One of these girls truely broke my heart. Her mom appeared to be concerned and caring to her pregnant daughter and truly overwhelmed with the circumstance she was in. She took me aside in the hall and thanked me for my care to her daughter. She said "You know this is not what I would have chosen for my daughter. I'm doing the best I can but I'm over my head. I appreciate your not judging me and being kind."
Every time this mom and daughter came in I again tried to reassure and encourage her. So when she came in this week to have her baby I again felt that draw to pray for them and do what I could to make good out of a difficult situation. I did not directly care for her but again as the charge nurse I get to check in on all the patients. The layers of drama unfolded revealing just how mixed up this 15yr olds life had become. How is it possible for a young girl like this to have no idea who is the father of her baby?
I asked my 15yr old daughter. Is this normal? She said Not normal with the people I hang out with but there is a small group of girls that behave like its their spot in life to just have sex with who ever wants. Sad huh. She asked me why are you asking me this? I told her I was just wanted to know what she thought of such a sad situation. The conversation to follow blessed me as she expressed her hopes and renewed goals to focus on school. With one week left of summer refocus and last minute fun is where were at.
It is such a relief to see Ab placing her affections on something other than boys. In the last few weeks she has taken the initiative to contact her older sisters father in law to spend time with their horses. I am proud of her honest approach offering to clean stalls brush horses etc in exchange for some riding opportunity.
Last week she asked if she could take one of the saddles home and condition the leather. She spent several hours working on this project. She was proud of herself when she returned it this week looking clean and shiny.
I'm so thankful to see my 15yr old loving her time with the horses instead of the situations Ive seen at work this week. I'm praying for a fresh start this year and success in her school work.

Love this picture

I just couldnt resist posting this picture. I think its my favorite of all the pictures I snapped during our last of the summer vacation to Paulina Lake in Central Oregon. It captures my Sweet Brooke contemplating the depth of her belly button and wondering out loud if she will see the end of it with the growing baby stretching her belly. Small moments in my life which bring me great pleasure.

The grandbaby blessing on the way is a boy....

Summer is cruising along.

It seems like Ive just blinked and the last 4weeks have passed.

We now know our first grand baby is a little boy. Last week I got to hear his heartbeat at a Dr's appt with my daughter. We get closer and closer day by day to meeting him face to face.
People frequently ask me. Aren't you so excited to be a grandma. I give the obviously standard anticipated response "oh yes". But I'm not a good poker player. Ive never been really good at covering my emotions. I thought at length about why I'm not just silly happy anticipating the arrival of such an amazing blessing.

I was talking to my daughter today and realized I am not ready to celebrate the baby yet because I'm still working through all the situations in my mind. Every time I attend a delivery now I keep looking at the grandmas and think what is it going to be like when its my daughter and my grand baby in this room. I came home the other night after a busy shift concluded with an emergency c/s delivery. I kept trying to think how would I handle standing by and not jumping in to help if we were faced with an emergency. Ive attended many deliveries of friends at hospitals where I did not work. Ive experienced some bad situations where the delivery became complicated. Ive assisted with supra pubic pressure during the most severe shoulder dystocia Ive ever experienced on one of my best friends. I knew the Dr and when she asked for help the nurses attending didn't move. She looked at me and I climbed up on the bed and pushed on my friend while the Dr pulled. I remember my emotions clearly like it was yesterday.
Ive stepped in to help resuscitate babies as a visitor. Sounds crazy but when my nephew was born the nurse took him to the warmer and placed him incorrectly feet down and head up. She pressed the emergency call light but obviously didn't know what to do with this baby that was not making any effort to breath. I stepped in turned him, stimulated him and started to reach for the ambu. the nurse scolded me as she called out the door for help. I responded If you do your job I wont have to. I stepped back as an obviously more experienced nurse took over the resuscitation.
I know these situations will not happen at my hospital because I know my staff and I know what an amazing team they are.
I do know the process of delivering a baby is not without risk.
I know God will keep us every step of the way.
This is a new step for me as a mom to trust God through this process.
Ive never seen a child of mine through this path. Ive been through it with many others safely.
I'm praying for peace to keep me from worry so I can truly say I'm excited to be a grandma.
Every thing of worth in my life has come with a lesson to trust God.
One more to come....

Back to reality

Back to working night shift after almost 3 weeks off. Ive had a Reality check for sure. The last shift I worked we had to transfer 2 preterm patients by code three ambulance to the high risk center at the same time. For my family birth dept. this is pretty exciting. The night just didn't slow down.
My parents have been in town visiting and we had the family reunion for my grandmas family. She is the oldest of 7 kids. Only 3 are still living. It was kind of sad because the day was kind of drippy and cold. Usually about 75 people attend and this year only about 40 showed up. When it as over my grandma made the comment " I'm not sure who will make it to next year." Maybe I wont. Reality is we all grow old and die. I just remember when we all gathered in my great grandmas yard to celebrate her birthday the second weekend of July. I remember when we took the picture of 5 living generations. Kind of fun to think my oldest daughter is pregnant with the 5th generation again. My husband and I realized this was the first year in 24 that we came to the picnic with no kids. A. and T. were invited to spend the weekend at a cabin with another family. The coolest part was the kids got to fly in a small plane across the state to join their friends already at the cabin. They spent the weekend riding horses and enjoying the woods. My husband and I had a very unusual two days with an empty house. It was quiet,the kitchen stayed clean and the pillows stayed on the couch.