Ill be home for Christmas?

Who will get her first? The song Ill be home for Christmas has special meaning at our house this year. baby Colton maybe here for Christmas. Counting down the days till Reed and Kelsey home for Christmas from NC?

Ive been wanting to make these Angel cookies with pretzel wings for many years.
Every year it fell off the projects to do list.
They were fun easy and worth the effort.

Practicing the gramma stuff with my friends granddaughters. Little fingers in the dough, flour, frosting and smiles make Christmas time.

One mom and one baby? Yep that was all the fun we had last night at work. Now that my daughter Brooke has arrived at 37wks gest is seems like not only am I excited to have her call with news that labor has started, but all the staff in my dept are excited to see who will be on duty when my grand baby arrives. Seeing my coworker snuggle a baby in the nursery I now am closer to grasping the reality my grand baby will be here soon.

I had the time to catch up with some of the staff I hadn't worked with in a while. I am reminded again why I love the staff I work with. They are very skilled dedicated to caring and willing to give of themselves to each other on a personal level.

Last week some of my coworkers announced that I would not be allowed to leave for the day until they came up with the name my Grand baby would call me. Of the top choices it was narrowed to "MiMi" or "Mermy". For some reason my own kids choose to call me "The Merm" So that's where Mermy comes from I guess a cross between Merm and Grammy. One of my grandmas we called Mammie. All the staff agreed Gramma or Grammy didn't fit me. Something about sounding to old and they seem to think I'm not an old grandma. I hope its not just that I don't act my age.

Baby shower for my soon to be Grandson

Celebration of the new baby to come. Im not much of a blogger lately. Shower attended by friends and family. I hand carried parts of the decoration for the cake from NC. I'm not a real game person so we played a fun game of chance I called "bottoms up" A pie tin and 5 small plastic babies. Roll your babies and count how many land with their bottoms up. each person got three rolls. This was not a game of skill but sure provided some laughter. Cake cutting, gift opening and I read a story to Colton " God gave us you"

Several in the group went together on a stroller car seat combo. Very nice. I hung a clothes line across my living room to display the baby clothes gift items and displayed the blanket I made for Brooke when she was born.

North Carolina in the fall

The decorated cake entry to the state fair. won honorable mention








































The gingerbread cookies we made.





















The happy daughter and son in law on his return from two weeks training.





















The Mantle decorated for Thanksgiving
Ten days away from my home. Ten days visiting #2 daughter and her husband in NC. the first 5days spent just my daughter and I hanging out and playing. Army hubby off for training, my daughter and I shopping, sewing, baking, crafting. We were in the fabric store so long we both got exausted. Then off to walmart. I had so much fun buying the makings of thanksgiving decorations for her home. That evening we baked a birthday cake for hubby,listened to christmas music and crafted a table cloth we had seen in a magazine when we were snooping in books at Borders. Im so thankful for time. Time spent with the ones I love. Tomorrow I head back to the west coast .

Blessings in the sock drawer

Ive been on a blogging break. Ive been checking in on other blogs but havent taken time to add to mine. I find it takes me a long time to come up with a tiny post so I stop before Im started
I'm not a very organized house keeper. I bop from one room to the other picking up this and that, folding clothes here and wiping up there, taking time to clean out a drawer just in time for garbage day so I wont have the chance to change my mind and pull out the"treasured item" from the garbage and return it to my clutter.
Last week on a sunny fall day I had to stay inside cleaning. I found myself rounding up a load of laundry in my closet. I don't remember how I got there,maybe a sock was sticking out and I took the time to open the drawers to organize.
There in the sock drawer I found the blessing. Ive seen it before but I couldn't resist taking the time to enjoy it again. Deep beneath the socks are special notes and letters. Some from my grown daughters to their dad and I,some from my husband notes of apology and mending of a misunderstanding years ago. One is simply a small scrap of wood with a note written on it saying I haven't told you I love you enough lately. (My husband is a carpenter)
I had to stop and ponder how funny it is I keep some of my dearest mementos in my sock drawer. I sat on my closet floor reading and soaking in the words of the letters. Sometimes I can find a blessing in the strangest place. The sock drawer.

Full Fall day

What a full day I had today. I started by sleeping through my alarm to take my kids off to their first day of school. Thankfully I have two girls who have learned to set their alarms, fix their lunches, fix breakfast and make sure their mom is awake and ready to take them to school on time. Wow what an amazing thing really for and 11 and 15 yr old.
My hubby left this morning for some R&R Bow hunting in eastern Oregon so I'm on my own for a few days. I always think I should take on some project while he is gone. In past years when he has gone hunting Ive redecorated his office, painted one of the girls rooms dark purple, redecorated another child's room and thrown out stuff needing to go. I guess I'm more of a hunting season cleaner than a spring cleaner. I'm not planning any big projects this hunting season. Maybe just dust the house.
I intended to take myself off to the gym to get myself back into an exercise routine but alas I stopped off at the computer this morning and got lost in Face Book and emails.
Talked to the daughter living off in NC on the phone while she shopped at walmart. Weird how the world really can be so small with all the technology. I told her I would call her back after I went to Target with Daughter #1 so she could make a baby registry. We had fun with the registry gun clicking off all the little items she will need to care for her new arrival. It was strange even though Ive had 4 babies I was unfamiliar with some of the latest baby must have stuff. A whole aisle of baby bottles. Oh my it was overwhelming. I wasn't as much help as I think she thought I would be.
Lunch and then stop by work to drop off some supplies for a children's health fair scheduled at my hospital. The FBC is in charge of making hundreds of "Boo Boo Bunnies" In case you don't know these are wash cloths folded to look like a bunny and when a child gets and boo boo and ice cube fits inside for the child to hold on the boo boo. I was delayed by my manager wanting to talk to me about schedule changes and a charge nurse meeting tomorrow. I ended up being 15min late to pick up #4 daughter from her first day of JR high. Boy did I get a scolding on the text message. Where are you!!!!!
I called daughter #2 back and chatted while I drove to pick up #3,#4. I agreed to skype with her when I got home so she could show me her costume she got at walmart. How fun is that to be able to actually see her all the way in N.C.
While we were talking I heard a beep on the line. I took the call from the hospital. Yes too many labor patients and not enough staff for the night shift. No I cannot work all night. My husband is out of town but I could cover 730-mid
night.
Daughter #3now in the car and asking if she can go visit her new love the sweet horse named Misty. I agree to take her but must be back to work by 730
Now I know why I'm so tired after today. After taking the girls to ride the horses I made sure they were OK with food etc and off I went to the hospital.
I worked till 11pm helping out by attending babies at their deliveries and odds and ends.Still busy when I left only one patient room empty in the dept.
What a full day. I better go to bed and set two alarms so over sleep again. It starts all over tomorrow. welcome to fall.

15 and "in love"

"Jumping with Misty"

"Satisfaction of caring for another"




"In Love"





This past week in my work as a Labor and delivery nurse we seemed to be running a special of the week. One after the other we admitted 14 and 15yr old to have babies. As the charge nurse in my dept I do most of the triage of patients. I had cared for One of these young moms several times through out the summer as she came in during the night with assorted complaints. My heart is very tender toward these very young girls and I somehow have been given extra compassion for the moms of the girls. Maybe it has something to do with the fact I have 4 daughters and know I do not have control over all their actions and choices. I am thankful I have not had to experience this road with any of my daughters but I am keenly aware of guiding and guarding thier hearts as they journey through the rocky path of 12-20.
One of these girls truely broke my heart. Her mom appeared to be concerned and caring to her pregnant daughter and truly overwhelmed with the circumstance she was in. She took me aside in the hall and thanked me for my care to her daughter. She said "You know this is not what I would have chosen for my daughter. I'm doing the best I can but I'm over my head. I appreciate your not judging me and being kind."
Every time this mom and daughter came in I again tried to reassure and encourage her. So when she came in this week to have her baby I again felt that draw to pray for them and do what I could to make good out of a difficult situation. I did not directly care for her but again as the charge nurse I get to check in on all the patients. The layers of drama unfolded revealing just how mixed up this 15yr olds life had become. How is it possible for a young girl like this to have no idea who is the father of her baby?
I asked my 15yr old daughter. Is this normal? She said Not normal with the people I hang out with but there is a small group of girls that behave like its their spot in life to just have sex with who ever wants. Sad huh. She asked me why are you asking me this? I told her I was just wanted to know what she thought of such a sad situation. The conversation to follow blessed me as she expressed her hopes and renewed goals to focus on school. With one week left of summer refocus and last minute fun is where were at.
It is such a relief to see Ab placing her affections on something other than boys. In the last few weeks she has taken the initiative to contact her older sisters father in law to spend time with their horses. I am proud of her honest approach offering to clean stalls brush horses etc in exchange for some riding opportunity.
Last week she asked if she could take one of the saddles home and condition the leather. She spent several hours working on this project. She was proud of herself when she returned it this week looking clean and shiny.
I'm so thankful to see my 15yr old loving her time with the horses instead of the situations Ive seen at work this week. I'm praying for a fresh start this year and success in her school work.

Love this picture

I just couldnt resist posting this picture. I think its my favorite of all the pictures I snapped during our last of the summer vacation to Paulina Lake in Central Oregon. It captures my Sweet Brooke contemplating the depth of her belly button and wondering out loud if she will see the end of it with the growing baby stretching her belly. Small moments in my life which bring me great pleasure.

The grandbaby blessing on the way is a boy....

Summer is cruising along.

It seems like Ive just blinked and the last 4weeks have passed.

We now know our first grand baby is a little boy. Last week I got to hear his heartbeat at a Dr's appt with my daughter. We get closer and closer day by day to meeting him face to face.
People frequently ask me. Aren't you so excited to be a grandma. I give the obviously standard anticipated response "oh yes". But I'm not a good poker player. Ive never been really good at covering my emotions. I thought at length about why I'm not just silly happy anticipating the arrival of such an amazing blessing.

I was talking to my daughter today and realized I am not ready to celebrate the baby yet because I'm still working through all the situations in my mind. Every time I attend a delivery now I keep looking at the grandmas and think what is it going to be like when its my daughter and my grand baby in this room. I came home the other night after a busy shift concluded with an emergency c/s delivery. I kept trying to think how would I handle standing by and not jumping in to help if we were faced with an emergency. Ive attended many deliveries of friends at hospitals where I did not work. Ive experienced some bad situations where the delivery became complicated. Ive assisted with supra pubic pressure during the most severe shoulder dystocia Ive ever experienced on one of my best friends. I knew the Dr and when she asked for help the nurses attending didn't move. She looked at me and I climbed up on the bed and pushed on my friend while the Dr pulled. I remember my emotions clearly like it was yesterday.
Ive stepped in to help resuscitate babies as a visitor. Sounds crazy but when my nephew was born the nurse took him to the warmer and placed him incorrectly feet down and head up. She pressed the emergency call light but obviously didn't know what to do with this baby that was not making any effort to breath. I stepped in turned him, stimulated him and started to reach for the ambu. the nurse scolded me as she called out the door for help. I responded If you do your job I wont have to. I stepped back as an obviously more experienced nurse took over the resuscitation.
I know these situations will not happen at my hospital because I know my staff and I know what an amazing team they are.
I do know the process of delivering a baby is not without risk.
I know God will keep us every step of the way.
This is a new step for me as a mom to trust God through this process.
Ive never seen a child of mine through this path. Ive been through it with many others safely.
I'm praying for peace to keep me from worry so I can truly say I'm excited to be a grandma.
Every thing of worth in my life has come with a lesson to trust God.
One more to come....

Back to reality

Back to working night shift after almost 3 weeks off. Ive had a Reality check for sure. The last shift I worked we had to transfer 2 preterm patients by code three ambulance to the high risk center at the same time. For my family birth dept. this is pretty exciting. The night just didn't slow down.
My parents have been in town visiting and we had the family reunion for my grandmas family. She is the oldest of 7 kids. Only 3 are still living. It was kind of sad because the day was kind of drippy and cold. Usually about 75 people attend and this year only about 40 showed up. When it as over my grandma made the comment " I'm not sure who will make it to next year." Maybe I wont. Reality is we all grow old and die. I just remember when we all gathered in my great grandmas yard to celebrate her birthday the second weekend of July. I remember when we took the picture of 5 living generations. Kind of fun to think my oldest daughter is pregnant with the 5th generation again. My husband and I realized this was the first year in 24 that we came to the picnic with no kids. A. and T. were invited to spend the weekend at a cabin with another family. The coolest part was the kids got to fly in a small plane across the state to join their friends already at the cabin. They spent the weekend riding horses and enjoying the woods. My husband and I had a very unusual two days with an empty house. It was quiet,the kitchen stayed clean and the pillows stayed on the couch.

Too much fun

The pictures say it all.... Ive been having fun with my kids and numerous celebrations.





Grandbaby 14wks and growing....
The latest cake creation of my sugar artist daughter

The Blessing of 50 years

This is the memory movie my husband, daughter and I put together to honor my parents 50th wedding anniversary. We shared it with family and friends at the party on Saturday night. I asked my parents for two or three songs that were meaningful to them. The first song in the movie is the song sung at their wedding 50 years ago. I had not completed the finished version when we left for California. I asked my husband to preview it and finalize it. I was so shocked when 6hrs later I came back to the hotel and he was still working on it. I said I thought you would be reading by the pool. It was so sweet how he discribed the blessing he felt by viewing this over and over realizing the life of my parents and how after 28 years of marriage he felt so connected to my family and God really had done what He said. He had made us one.Pause my blog music tape player before you view my Memory movie.

What do Night shift nurses do for fun?

Rain, Rain, Rain. It rained so much today I wondered if I should start building an ark. This is normal weather for Oregon in June, but tomorrow my friends daughter is getting married and yes you guessed it she has planned and outside wedding without any option for rain. I am praying for a window of dry sky for the ceremony. The sweet sugar artist #2 daughter has been here for two days from NC but I have not had much time with her because of meetings at work and the crazy Physical Therapy schedule Im trying to keep up with to improve my stupid hip pain. Oh yes and then the practice time for the singing group the Family Birth Center "Sistas". Several of the night shift staff in my dept at the FBC including myself make up this fun group. We have performed at dept parties and the hospital fundraiser. Sat night we have a " Surprise Gig" to entertain at the graduation party for one of our staff who survived nursing school while working night shift as a tech. This tech is also a member of the group but we are surprising her.
Im excited to have a break from working night shifts until July 8th. My husband and I will leave the two younger kiddos with the #2 daughter and son in law while we travel to So. Cal to celebrate our 28th wedding anniversery and my parents 50th. I just have to survive this weekend as the only dept supervisor in town. Hmmmm what could go wrong???? No I wont even go there.
Yesterday an incredibly beautiful wedding cake emerged from my kitchen at the hand of my #2 daughter. She will deliver it tomorrow morning.
Today was another day to count blessings, lunch with my two oldest girls and a treasure hunt at the local Salvation Army store with #2 and #4. We had fun finding some summer outfits for next to nothing.

The little red wagon

This is a picture of my first little red wagon, full of a litter of puppies. Our beagle dog Sniffy had many litters as I grew up. I cant think of anything more fun.



After my little pity party yesterday I enjoyed a special day with the number 4 daughter we affectionately call "Skew". We explored the local farmers market, ate kettle corn and visited the vendor booth of my childhood friend Heaven Scent bakery. As 10yr olds we made huge messes in the kitchen and imagined the day we would have a cookie cart in the local mall. Now 36 yrs later I with 4 girls and she with 3 girls. She took our little girl dreams and turned them into a way to support her family after her husband left her when her youngest was 3days old.
The little Skew and I visited the craft store looking for a summer fun project. She found a white t shirt and marking pens to decorate it. On our way home in the car she made the comment "Mom that was fun. Thanks for I'm glad we got to go today" This was such a blessing to me, I needed to know I could find a little spot to connect with my youngest little girl.
As we were passing a roadside flea market I spotted an old red wagon. I turned around because I thought it would be a cute addition to my side yard garden. The red wagon was so perfect. I think it was as old as me. I reminded me of one I remembered playing with as a child. I really didn't have any business buying the old rusted wagon but just looking at it made me smile. The vendor at the flea market was so nice and helped me take the handle off so it would fit in the trunk of my car.
So now it graces my side yard garden full of flower pots

Changes

Today I was grieving a little. I realized life has changed again and I was missing some of what had gone. I missed my first and second born little girls. I was remembering the sweet things of the days when it was the three of us exploring a new world. I remember the early summer planning swim lessons and summer camp thinking of projects. Life is different with only two at home. At ages 14 and 11,text messaging, and ipods fill much of their life.I assigned chores for the girls and ran an errand with my husband. Much of the ride he had to talk on the phone for business. I missed the days when a car ride meant uninterrupted time with him. The two younger girls are finding more of their own lives with activities and friends. I took a look around and took a deep breath. Life had changed.Its OK to be a little sad.
Along with change I have to acknowledge blessings. The anticipation of a first grand baby and the joy I find in seeing the two families established by the two older girls marriages,the amazing son in laws and the lives I see them living.I need to remember to refocus with every change in life to see Gods plans and appreciate the life He has provided.

Blessings in the side yard garden.

The side yard is my special place. The place I am totally in control. My husband likes order in the other parts of the yard, but this my place. Two chairs ready to invite a friend to join me for ice tea. The climbing rose used to grow across the arbor my second daughter and I made out of old tree branches but now the rose grows in a totally different direction. Out of control. 3 years ago I thought it was a great idea to buy some grape vines, but I didn't really plan a place for them to spread, so they grow across the fence.







This is a Tropicana rose salvaged from my cousins yard when his wife declared her complete dislike for roses. I swore I would never go around repeating the names of flowers like my mom but here I am telling you about the Tropicana in my yard that amazes me by starting out as a beautiful bright pink bud and blooms into a flower with hot orange and then fading into a yellow center. I am blessed by Gods creativity.

"Mom the booties you are knitting are for your Grand baby."